So you want to lose weight and are determined to eat right but then something happens without warning.  One cookie becomes two, two become four and before you know it, you have eaten them all!  Why after days of eating well and exercising can a simple cookie have such power?  

Emotional eating is the likely cause.  Emotional or stress eating is real and its pattern of sabotage can destroy a whole day of good intentions in a matter of minutes.  If left unchallenged, emotional eating, and the feels that support it, will win every time. Getting to the root of your emotions and breaking free from old habits is necessary if you really want to lose weight.  

Emotional eating is loosely defined as a strong urge to eat when you are not hungry.  

It is difficult to stop and you feel out of control.  Creamy, crunchy, salty or sweet, “comfort food” makes you feel better.  Late afternoons, when the kids have gone to bed or just a midnight snack, emotional eating has many different “faces” but the results are the same….eating an unreasonable amount of something that is not in your best interest. 

Feelings of guilt and condemnation follow and so it goes as you vow to begin again tomorrow.

Yet, emotional eating is an intense cycle.  When it begins, your food-of-choice does provide some degree of comfort by releasing dopamine – a “feel good” hormone – in your brain. Feeling bad?   Eat something.  Release some dopamine, feel some relief…

However, since the stress that started it all has likely not gone away, the relief you feel from the food is short lived, so the cycle begins again.  Add some good ol’ fashioned guilt and an extra mean word or two to yourself, and you quickly compound the negative feels that started the cycle to begin with.

Emotional eating can also happen with more “positive” intentions.  Using food to reward yourself is just as harmful.  The “I deserve it” rationale still brings with it the same dopamine cycle that takes any real feelings of accomplishment off the table and refocuses your attention on food.  The negative feelings that follow more than circumvent a “positive reward”.  

You can do a lot to break an emotional eating cycle, and it doesn’t take long to see results. Not surprisingly, getting to the root of what you are feeling is the key to breaking this self-defeating cycle.  

1 – Identify your triggers  

Looks at any physical triggers that can cause your eating to get out of control.  

• Are you tired when you have a strong urge to eat?  
• Have you been or are you anticipating a stressful family event, meeting or social obligation?  
• What types of foods create that “I’ve got to eat it” feeling?  
• What time of day do you feel the most drawn to these foods?  

This knowledge gives you the freedom to make different decisions based on your answers. 

• What can you cut out of your day to get more rest?  Maybe it is just sleep that you need for additional emotional support?
• Write down the things that are really causing you stress – family, work, finances.  Sometimes “seeing” the stress on paper can give you just enough perspective that obvious solutions are apparent.  
• Clean out the trigger foods from your house and don’t bring them back!  A simple idea, but it works! 
• Rearrange your schedule to reduce eating opportunities during vulnerable times. 
• Take a walk or call a friend.  Most dangerous eating urges will go away in 10-15 minutes if you can recognize when they are about to occur.  

2 – Think about what you are thinking about

In order to absolutely break emotional eating cycles, you also need to seriously begin to think about what you are thinking about.  

Did you know most of us have one new thought every second?  While it would be overwhelming to stop and consider each one, when it comes to emotional eating, if you do not take the time to evaluate the thoughts that are causing your urge to eat, you will be doomed to repeat the cycle subconsciously.  

• Is the stress and fatigue in your life causing you to have overly negative – almost catastrophic thoughts with every life event?  
• Does your busy schedule with normal life events cause thoughts like, “This was the worst day of my life!”?  
• Maybe you have even caught yourself often saying, “I’m so stressed out…”?  While that may feel like the truth, your body only knows what you are telling it, so it will be “so stressed out” and leave you longing for comfort.  
• Try instead to reframe your negative thinking.  While a busy schedule is stressful, begin saying things like, “I’m so thankful for getting so much done today and happy that I was able to get out and enjoy the day.”  Even a small amount of gratitude can melt away your negative stream of unconscious thoughts from which the “I need to eat!” cycle begins. 

3 – Make a plan!

Finally, once you have done the investigative work into your triggers and your thoughts, make a plan!  Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Build some space into your day to simply BREATH!  It is amazing what 3 or 4 deep breathes can do to defuse the urgent need to eat.  Breathing gives you space between your thought to eat and the action of eating that follows.  
• Use the space you create, no matter how brief, to give yourself an opportunity to turn a negative thought into something more positive.  Be thankful for something!  There are thousands of people who would trade places with you.
• Be honest with what is really bothering you?  Write it down or seek help if you need extra support.  Keeping it veiled behind a bag of chips will only keep you stuck in the emotional eating cycle.  
• Determine to think something new on purpose.  Instead of “I’m so stressed out” choose to say “Everything is going to be okay” or “I am safe” or “This too shall pass”.  Remember, your brain believes what you tell it!  You will be amazed at how much more calm you will feel if you think a new affirmation on purpose even if  you don’t believe it at first.
• Take a walk, get out of the house, do something physical – even if it is on a treadmill! Exercise produces endorphins which produce positive feelings in your brain!  Trade these natural hormones for the chocolate-induced ones and you will get an extra boost towards your weight loss goals, some extra exercise AND not eating for comfort.

When you can anticipate the causes of your emotional eating, you can choose differently.

While emotional eating is real, you do not have to be its victim.  

You are worth the time it takes to figure out your triggers and any old thought patterns that cause you to binge.  While an emotional “pig out” session may still occur, their frequency will decrease with time and some effort.

If you are willing to learn something about yourself along the way, you will be able to take back your power from that cookie!

What does a simple, healthy diet look like?  You don’t have to look far these days to find someone telling you what, when, and how to eat in order to stay healthy.  

The problem with so much information is that it is very hard to know what is right for you!  Before you know it, you’re trudging through one diet plan after another chasing results and eating has become a very complicated, almost dreaded event.  

Then when things get too confusing, most of us are likely to throw in the towel and eat whatever and whenever we want….until the inevitable consequences of ‘free style’ eating puts us right back into the place of searching for the next right way to eat.  And the cycle continues…..

At their core, scripted diets almost always involve black and white rules around food.  So, unless you’ve done the foundational work around your emotional and psychological history with food, a ‘diet plan’ more often than not compounds unhealthy ideas with food.  

While scrolling through social media, it can be easy to get caught up in how this plan or an eating style that worked for someone else, try it but when it doesn’t work think it is your fault.  And the cycle continues…. 

Let’s simplify healthy eating so that you have a strong foundation on which to build a diet plan that is right for you.  Then if you decide to tweak the details, you will always have a reliable basis from which to build.

1. Simply Eat Real Food

Food is not only fuel for our bodies it is information to every cell.  Therefore, eating real food is extremely important!  

The parts of our cells that convert the food we eat to the energy we need don’t really know what to do with the preservatives and food additives that are in packaged foods.  And yet, they are searching for the vitamins and minerals they need to perform every cellular function that we need to survive.  

To ensure that the food you eat is real, focus on eating foods without labels.  Fresh vegetables and fruits, locally raised meat and eggs are always best.  

But when you do choose to eat something from a package, read the label.  A short, simple ingredient list with words you can pronounce is the place to start. Quality matters in a healthy diet, so knowing what you are eating is a must.  

2. Simply Stay Curious 

…about your thoughts and feelings surrounding food and how you think you should eat.  

If you are or have been a perpetual dieter, then chances are you have not made many connections to what you think and how those thoughts influence what you eat.  Many of us eat out of boredom or as a way to relieve stress.  Then before we know it, the guilt sets in.  

On the other hand, many women in particular, are always on the hunt for the ‘perfect’ diet often feeling obsessed with the search.  Instead of looking within, they have come to believe the idea that simplicity with food involves someone else telling them what to eat.  All of this takes us further and further from our own food connections.  

Instead of beating yourself up for eating in a way that doesn’t support your health, or looking for someone else to tell you want to eat, try simply reflecting on what is going on inside when you feel off balance with your food.  

If you find yourself feeling shame and remorse around eating, it is a very good sign that something else is trying to get your attention.  Figuring that out can be the key to finding freedom and enjoyment with food while also supporting your health. 

If your idea of simplicity with food involves drive thrus and take out, another lifestyle issue is likely needing your attention.  By putting convenience above your health, you could be continuing to squash unfelt feelings or unmet needs.  An honest look at those things is not always easy, but is more likely than not the truth of what is simply hiding behind the food.  

Simply put, there is NO one-size fits all plan when it comes to a healthy way to eat.  However, keeping things simple by eating real foods and getting connected with your thoughts around food, you can build a healthy eating routine that makes you feel great while also helping you reach your goals.  

Health coaching is a great way to unpack old thoughts and ideas about food and other lifestyle factors that may be keeping you from reaching your goals.  If you’d like to find out more contact Rhonda@makingmidlifemarvelous.com