My journey through perimenopause into menopause left me feeling confused and frustrated, especially since I couldn’t find a doctor who could help me understand my symptoms. I now know unfortunately many medical professionals aren’t trained about menopause and its symptoms – just that it’s part of getting older for women. In fact, the North American Menopause Society reports that 90% of medical doctors have not received training on how to support women in menopause. This lack of knowledge often leaves women struggling to get the care we need from our doctors and OB/GYNs.
As a new generation of menopausal women, we have access to resources and opportunities that our mothers and grandmothers could only dream of. And, as a result, menopause is finally getting the attention it deserves from mainstream media and medical institutions.
But even with increased awareness, it can still be difficult to navigate this journey, especially since many doctors have not kept up with the latest research and treatments. As we seek the best care, it’s important to be aware of what we are up against. Here are some key things to keep in mind as you pursue the treatment you deserve.
Understanding the Impact of Menopause on Body Weight – We don’t just need to “eat less and move more.”
Many healthcare professionals don’t fully understand the underlying causes of weight changes during menopause and are in disbelief when we say it seems to happen overnight. Yet research shows that when it comes to body composition, women can lose 10% of their muscle mass during perimenopause alone. As lean mass declines, fat mass can double a trend that continues until two years after they officially hit menopause
In addition to these changes, other factors such as blood sugar imbalances, cortisol, insulin resistance, and sleep disturbances affect weight during menopause. Drastically cutting calories is not the solution, as this can lead to muscle and bone loss – which can be detrimental in later years.All the while our bodies will hold onto fat to protect us!
Instead, we need to focus on building muscle adequate nutrition, protein, and fiber. If your doctor isn’t talking to you about these things or suggests that it is as simple as “eating less and moving more” please consider getting a second opinion.
Our symptoms are more than hot flashes and night sweats.
While vasomotor symptoms (VMS) like hot flashes and night sweats tend to get the most attention when it comes to menopause, they’re not the only troublesome symptoms for us. In fact, many women experience other hormone-driven symptoms including achy joints and muscles, anxiety and/or depression, loss of motivation, sleep disruptions, and more, which can be overlooked or misdiagnosed. Unfortunately, primary care settings, including OB/GYNs, often lack proper training in menopause care, leading to missed opportunities for treatment.
This is particularly concerning since the average time spent with a healthcare provider is only 17 minutes. Having a list of your symptoms and concerns, as well as thoughts on treatments to explore, will help you maximize this time. Consider bringing along a symptom checklist like this one from letstalkmenopause.org This way you can better ensure your symptoms are accurately diagnosed and you receive the care you need.
Misconceptions Surrounding Hormonal Changes and Menopause Stages
It’s a common misunderstanding that symptoms of menopause correspond with hormone levels or menopause stages. In fact, experts have only recently acknowledged that the menopause transition can last up to 14 years. Furthermore, research has shown that women in the “late reproductive stage” of their lives may experience symptoms similar to perimenopause, despite their regular menstrual cycles. These changes can occur before the expected age of 50 years, leading to confusion among women and their healthcare providers.
While doctors can test hormone levels to determine a woman’s menopause stage, including follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH)and estradiol, these levels may not reflect a woman’s actual experience. Hormone levels in the blood or saliva can be inconsistent during perimenopause, and do not accurately reflect hormone levels in the tissues or symptomatology. As such, it is important to understand that perimenopause is diagnosed clinically based on symptoms, rather than laboratory tests.
Despite the fact that perimenopause is often the period in which women experience the most discomfort some doctors don’t understand the importance of diet and lifestyle changes and are also reluctant to treat perimenopausal women with hormones if that is what she wants. For the best care, find a doctor who listens to your symptoms and is willing to treat them.
Mindset Matters
The way you think about menopause can greatly affect your experience and symptoms. Research suggests women who have a positive outlook and attitude towards menopause may encounter fewer symptoms such as hot flashes and night sweats compared to those with negative attitudes. However, it’s important to note that a challenging experience may alter your mindset. This is why having access to menopause education and support matters!
Finding a healthcare provider and support team play a big role in shaping your menopause mindset. If your provider disregards your symptoms and simply attributes them to aging, it may be challenging to maintain a positive attitude. It’s important to surround yourself with a supportive and empowering team who understand that menopause is a significant event in life, and there are ways to be healthy, active, and vibrant during this time.
Don’t try to manage your midlife health alone; reach out for support. If you think health coaching isn’t right for you, don’t worry – I have a variety of other resources and ideas that might be better suited to help. Let’s chat! Reserve a spot on my calendar and let’s figure out a plan together.
It seems like a cruel joke that at about the same time we are journeying through our menopause transformation, another significant life transition is likely happening; we are learning how to be moms to adults, and our homes are on the way to becoming empty nests.
We are in the time of life when not only are we being asked to let go of our children as they find their way out into the world, our very own bodies are finding a new ‘normal’ and shifting us into the entirely new physical state of menopause. For those wrapped up in hurting hearts, feelings of grief, loneliness, sadness, and confusion, did you even know a perfect storm of biochemical changes are also happening that can magnify the intensity of loss and despair?
While we likely know about the physical symptoms of menopause, we are also experiencing many, very real mental changes we likely have never heard anything about.
Understanding some of our brain’s unique alchemy in midlife can help us comprehend, at least in part, the extreme nature of why many midlife mommas feel so out of sorts.
Our brains are literally changing.
Apart from changes in our monthly cycles, changes in our two main sex hormones, estrogen and progesterone, are quite literally impacting our brains in midlife. Here are a few specifics to help empower an understanding and take away some of the mysteries and sigmas of this time of life.
The short version of the story is that as progesterone and then estrogen decline our brains actually need time to adjust.
For women after 40, Dr. Lara Briden in her book, Hormone Repair Manual, describes the changes to our brains at midlife as a literal rewiring. This mental reconstruction of sorts is at the root of symptoms like mood swings, sleep issues, hot flashes, and brain fog.1
Among its myriad of roles, Dr. Briden explains specifically how for decades in our lives estrogen has been reducing inflammation and boosting the feel good neurotransmitter, serotonin. Therefore as it declines we are more significantly impacted by the negative effects of stress.2
So while you may try to convince yourself and others that your strong feelings are just your imagination, when serotonin is impacted it is very likely things actually do bother you more than they used to.
Also since puberty, our brains have had a powerful calming ally from the effects of progesterone. In midlife progesterone greatly declines, and without it we can experience problems sleeping, migraines, and a whole host of anxiety related symptoms. A lack of progesterone is an additional reason why we feel less able to cope with stress.3
In fact, groundbreaking new research by associate professor of neuroscience in neurology and in radiology, as well as the director of the Women’s Brain Initiative at Weill Cornell Medicine, Dr. Lisa Mosconi, is specifically studying how our brains change at menopause to help women better care for our mental health.
In her book, The XX Brain, Dr. Mosconi talks about how our brains have been wired to respond to estrogen and progesterone since conception. With the hormone surge that comes at puberty the female brain literally becomes addicted to them and their effects. Add to this the fact that estrogen specifically helps our brains use carbohydrates for energy, and it’s not hard to understand when hormones decline we feel it in our brains.
Dr. Mosconi has also helped shed light on the abundance of estrogen and progesterone receptors in specific areas of the brain. These receptors, the lock to our hormones’ keys, aren’t getting ‘unlocked’ like they used to. This concept provides a better understanding of some common menopause symptoms like hot flashes and sleep disturbances.
Here are some examples of areas in the brain that have an abundance of estrogen receptors and why when estrogen decreases menopause symptoms can occur as I heard Dr. Mosconi describe in this podcast, The Secrets Of The Female Brian, about her research:
Area Of The Brain
Help With
Menopause Symptom
Hypothalamus
body temperature regulation
hot flashes and body temperature dysregulation
Brain stem
sleep regulation
sleep disturbances
Amygdala
regulating emotions
extreme emotions and mood swings
Hippocampus
memory
brain fog and memory lapses
The bottom line is as estrogen declines our physical symptoms are rooted in concrete changes to our neurological system. Our symptoms – including those that are mental and emotional – are real and our brains need time to adjust. So yes, it’s all in your head for very good reasons!
The Role Of Stress
As if the changes in our brain chemistry weren’t enough, we also need to understand the role of stress in making an already precarious transitional time for our brains worse. Stress, whether physical like illness or emotional like relationship issues, result in an elevation of another hormone called cortisol. Even perceived stress which comes from worrisome or anxious thoughts increases cortisol.
Part of our body’s fight or flight system, cortisol’s job is to help our bodies make all the needed adjustments to mount a defense – even if no real threat is imminent. Continuously high cortisol levels only add to the cascade of menopause symptoms we might already be experiencing.
In her book, Adrenal Thyroid Revolution, Dr. Aviva Romm goes into great detail about how cortisol can interfere with the balance of other hormones as well as increase anxiety, digestion issues, and weight gain.
Additionally, Dr. Mosconi’s work has also shown that constantly high levels of cortisol resulting from chronic stress causes women’s brains to suffer to the point that high cortisol is correlated with brain shrinkage in post menopausal women! 4
How to Support Our Midlife Momma Brains
One of the things I love most about my midlife career pivot to health coaching is I now have wellness resources I never knew existed before. Rather than “just because” the reason I’d been given by women who had gone before me, these resources give me an understanding of the root cause “why” of symptoms and how healthy lifestyle changes can help. These insights make me much more likely to change diet and lifestyle behaviors and stick with them. Combining expert research and advice I trust with my own common sense, is enabling changes that work for me.
I have discovered that practically all of the healthy diet and lifestyle habits I knew were good for my body are also good for my brain. Supported by the work of the doctors I’ve already mentioned (Briden, Mosconi, Romm) and others, here are some of the things I’m doing to support my body and my mind in this middle part of life.
I Eat For My Brain’s Health
Feeling snippy, irritable, angry and upset seem to happen like the flip of a switch for me these days. One social media post or news story and my mood can go sideways in a hurry.
Sadly, before menopause I didn’t think about food’s impact on the health of my brain. Of course I knew when I was craving food or feeling ‘hangry’, but the nuts and bolts of nutrition as far as my brain’s operating system was concerned didn’t cross my radar.
But now I think about my brain’s nutritional needs differently. My focus is on eating whole, real food. If it comes in a package, box, or bag I think twice before making it a regular part of my routine. Knowing that MSG and other food additives have been shown to damage brain cells and impair memory, I take into account the ingredient label on these kinds of foods. (If you’d like more information about reading food labels and some ingredients to avoid, this article gives a nice overview.)
I’ve also become more diligent about limiting the amount of sugar and refined carbohydrates I eat. Because our brains use a lot of energy, they are also susceptible to oxidative stress from sweets and starchy foods like breads and pastas. Therefore, as important as blood sugar regulation is to prevent diabetes, it is important for my brain’s health too. Interestingly, because of the ill effects of sugar on our brains, there is mounting evidence that Alzheimer’s disease may one day be referred to as type 3 diabetes.
With my brain’s health for added motivation, I’m eating more fibrous vegetables and limiting sweet and starchy carbs like pastas and breads. Dr. Mosconi goes into great detail about the carbohydrates that work best for a woman’s brain. She points out that quality and quantity matter and is very specific about the fact that complex carbohydrates, which contain high amounts of fiber, are best.5
Specifically for women leading up to and through menopause, Dr. Briden explains that unregulated insulin from high blood sugar has a bigger impact on our brains than when we were younger. As she explained in a social media post recently:
When estrogen drops at menopause, it triggers a temporary drop in brain energy which contributes to symptoms such as hot flashes, sleep disturbance, and memory loss.
If the brain can adapt by switching from glucose to ketones, symptoms should be temporary.
If the brain cannot adapt because of insulin resistance, symptoms can persist and lead to an increased risk of dementia.
Ketones are created when our bodies use fat for fuel instead of carbohydrates, so keeping sugar and refined carbs lower helps promote a type of metabolic flexibility that is actually good for our brains.
Our brains get information from the food we eat, and each color has its own specific nutritional component called a phytonutrient. There are very real and documented health benefits of all phytonutrients, so eating a rainbow everyday is incredibly important not just for our bodies but also for our brains.It makes sense that the better I eat, the more clearly I think. The more clearly I think, the more emotionally stable I feel, and eating a rainbow of color from nature daily feels great!
This is a challenge because it seems our world is getting more toxic by the minute. Yet knowing that toxins negatively impact the brain, reducing the stress on my brain by replacing or removing as many environmental toxins as I can has become increasingly important to me.
To reduce the toxic load of pesticides and herbicides, I eat as much organic food as possible. This has expanded over the years as I’ve found more local and online resources that I trust. It is important to understand the laws around the “organic” labeling to keep from being duped by false and misleading packaging. The Environmental Working Group’s Clean 15 and Dirty Dozen are great places to start when making decisions about what produce is best to buy organic.
The Environmental Working Group is also a great resource when it comes to cleaning and personal care products. Toxins are easily absorbed by our skin so it is important to understand that these chemicals also add to our body’s toxic stress and have an impact on our mental health.While we’re on the topic of toxins, alcohol falls into this category for me. We’ve been led to believe that some alcohols like wine have health benefits, but the latest evidence strongly suggests there is no measurable health benefit from any amount of alcohol – even red wine. And because alcohol has also been shown to be toxic to the brain, I choose to avoid it altogether. Personally, I’d rather eat my calories.
I Move For My Brain’s Health
If you’re like me, for decades you’ve viewed exercise through the lens of physical well being. While yes, our bodies need to move in order to age well (the “move it or lose it” motivation), now there is also mounting evidence that physical exercise – specifically weight bearing activities done to build lean muscle are great for our mental well being too.
While walking, stretching, and more gentle movements are also important, strength training, in particular, has shown very promising results in helping to improve mild cognitive decline with indications that the greater the gains in strength, the greater the improvement in cognitive test scores. Specifically because weight training has been shown to not only improve symptoms like hot flashes but long-term brain health as well, I will make it a part of my movement routine forever. And finally in terms of brain healthy activities, all types of movement help reduce insulin resistance which I’ve already mentioned as being ideal for the health of our brains. So the bottomline is keep moving!
I’m Learning How To Soothing My Nervous System For My Brain’s Health
I have a natural tendency to be “on” all the time. Even if your kids left the house years ago, there is a strong possibility your mom-ears, mom-nose, and mom-eyes-in-the-back-of-your-head are still turned on too. For me, motherhood brought so much to do and worry about that the fight-or-flight system I talked about earlier feels stuck in the on position.
While our momma-spidey sense served us well with our babies and small ones, being on constant high surveillance is not good for our midlife brains. (remember stress = cortisol and constantly high cortisol is correlated with our brains shrinking!)
Understanding that the opposite to this always-turned-on system is the able-to-tune-out, rest-digest-recover part, I am actively pursuing ways to soothe myself. This isn’t easy especially since always-on feels so natural and normal to me!
However the evidence is clear, stress – no matter what form, whether physical, environmental, mental, emotional, or even imagined – has a real and lasting impact on the health of our brains.
Unfortunately there is no one-size-fits-all approach to calming our nervous systems. But fortunately there are many avenues to try in order to find one that works for you. Dr. Mosconi describes R&R for the mind in things like:
Making time for friends
Unplugging from electronics and choosing to get out into nature instead in what she called “green time over screen time” 6
Meditation – which can include nuanced types like walking meditation, doing-the-dishes meditation, and a special singing medication called Kirtan Kriya. Meditation can even take the form of a hobby or any activity that you love and in doing so you lose complete track of time. Mental health experts call this a flow state.
Yoga
Acupuncture, and last but not least
Prioritizing sleep
So midlife mommas, as our homes and our bodies are changing, giving our mental health a double whammy of sorts, there is a lot we can do to mitigate the effects of declining hormones and escalating emotions.
Diet and lifestyle changes through food and movement will go a long way to help calm some of the emotional storms at midlife. When we prioritize a decrease in toxins and stress while also increasing rest and relaxation, we can help our brains adjust and cultivate a new normal.
No. You’re not crazy! It is a huge transitional time on multiple fronts! But with more understanding of our brain’s midlife physiology we can be better equipped to handle these twin transitions.
Lifestyle changes can be challenging and often take time to implement. This is where working with a health coach, like me, can have many added benefits. Not only can I help you better understand what’s happening in your body, but together we can set goals, celebrate victories, and create your more marvelous midlife.
If you’d like help staying strong and active for life’s second half, you can find out more at www.makingmidlifemarvelous.com or send me an email and we can chat to see if health coaching is right for you.
All success comes down to being consistent and patient. It is not what you do once in a while but what you do over and over and over again that will bring results. It has been my experience that this is especially true with health and wellness goals.
Depending on what you want to achieve, success can take time making it easy to give up.
But knowing that the path to success will have several bends and twists can help you stick with it and give you determination to keep going.
On your road to success, here are 5 things you can expect:
1. Consistency can be boring.
New things are fun! Whether it is a new car, a new job or even a new diet, when something is new, it is easy to be excited and motivated. But if the path to success is paved with consistency, let’s face it, consistency can get boring. The car gets dirty, the job is well…a job, and the diet isn’t much fun when results take time. Getting past the success challenge of boredom takes a change in attitude especially when it comes to diet and exercise. Remembering why you started to eat healthy foods and working out regularly can make all the difference in keeping your new lifestyle going and moving you from being motivated to being committed.
2. Success takes actual work.
No matter what your goal, to truly be successful you will have to do the work. Magic pills, miracle foods and 10 second workouts don’t exist. Sooner or later you will need to make changes to what you eat and how often you workout in order to see real and lasting results. That is the actual work. Quick fix advertising is everywhere preying on those who are not ready to embrace the work, but those who are willing to ‘roll up their sleeves’ day after day, week after week and month after month will succeed in reaching their goal.
3. Success means change and change is uncomfortable.
People resist change because change is uncomfortable. But in order to have something different, you are going to have to do something different. With regard to health, the road to success is paved with changes in what you eat and how often you workout. Make your mind up to power through the unfamiliar, awkward and uncomfortable feeling and your comfort level will increase. Your new workout regimen and eating plan will become your new normal and results will follow.
4. Accountability is important
Oftentimes when we set out to accomplish a goal, we do not want anyone to know in case we do not succeed. However, it is important to surround yourself with like minded people who can support you on your way. When you keep your goals to yourself, it is much easier to take the “I’ll start tomorrow” way out. If you have a team of support, you are much more likely to keep your commitment and make the changes you know you need to make.
5. Consistency and Patience are far more important than perfection!
The road to a new healthy lifestyle will not be straight or perfect! The idea of perfect can easily derail you and cause you to give up. It is important to know that there WILL be days when you get sidetracked, but do not let these less-than-perfect days convince you that there is no use continuing or that you have somehow failed! Nothing could be further from the truth!! Break the cycle by knowing ahead of time that perfection is not necessary to success!
Do you need help with staying consistent so that you can achieve your health and fitness goals? I am here to help!! Grab a spot on my newsletter list for ideas and resources or send me an email and we can set up a time to chat.
When it comes to aging well, there is ample research to show maintaining lean muscle tissue is one of the biggest keys to staying healthy and vibrant later in life.1-5We’re not talking big, body-builder, bulky muscles either – just muscle that makes your arm or leg feel firm to the touch.
If you think about it, It makes sense. Our muscles are the tissues that move us from place to place. When they weaken, our ability to get around, take care of regular day-to-day needs, as well as increasing our risk of falling results in a lower quality of life. Dr. Gabrielle Lyon describes muscle as our “organs of longevity”.
Here are some facts. Without intentional activity after age 30, women will lose between 3 – 5% of lean muscle mass each decade. This amounts to 10 – 15% of their strength each decade too! It is important to know this loss of muscle actually has a name. It is called sarcopenia.6,7
Because sarcopenia happens slowly over time, the impact is hard to notice until our later years. Imagine being 30 and able to pick up something like an average 2 year old toddler with ease. That’s about 25 pounds. By the time you are 70, if you’ve lost 50% of your strength over the last 5 decades, anything more than about 12 pounds is all you can lift. Considering a gallon of milk weighs about 8 ½ pounds or a small laundry basket can weigh between 10 – 15 pounds, weakness like this will have a big impact on what you can pick up, carry, and move – not to mention how well you will be able to get around!
In fact, sarcopenia, when combined with weight gain has become known as sarcopenic obesity (being overweight, and under muscled) and is quickly becoming a major health threat among older adults as it is directly related to disability and comorbidities like type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and heart disease.8
We don’t hear much about estrogen’s role in all of this, but because it helps to preserve lean muscle, for women in midlife and beyond, age related muscle loss is compounded by the loss of estrogen. This not only accelerates muscle loss, it makes muscle more challenging to gain and maintain after menopause.9,10From the last year of perimenopause through menopause, without intentional lifestyle effort, women have an accelerated risk of muscle and bone loss because of the dramatic hormonal changes we experience.11, 12
Here are some of the biggest reasons why we want to build and maintain muscle as we get older.
Having more lean muscle increases our quality of life.
As muscular strength increases, so does the quality of life. Strength to maintain independence and daily activity is so important as we age. Aside from being able to stay more active, muscular strength increases overall general stability and balance resulting in fewer falls. This is important because falls are the number one cause of fractures, hospital admissions for trauma, loss of independence, and injury deaths in older adults.13
Not only do our bodies get stronger as we strength train, our minds get stronger too. Studies have shown mild to moderate depressions improve significantly in people who do resistance training. 14 Additionally, moderate to high intensity strength training has an overall positive effect on cognitive skills and mental function in older people as well.15
Having more lean muscle helps our bones stay strong.
We all know strong bones are important as we get older, and strong bones start with having our muscles pull on them. Weight training is one of the best ways to keep our bones strong as we get older.16
Building more lean muscle helps us burn more calories and can decrease body fat.
Muscle cells require more energy even when they’re not working. They are an expensive tissue for the body to maintain. Therefore, the more lean muscle you have, the more calories you burn all the time – even when you’re sleeping!17
So, do you want to be weak and frail as you get older, or strong, independent, and still able to care for yourself? The answer is pretty clear, isn’t it?
Before we talk about how to get strong, let’s clear up some common misconceptions among women. Yes, walking and yoga are great forms of exercise. The movement and flexibility they provide are also an important part of staying active and fit as we get older. But, a weight bearing resistant workout is what we need to continue to build new muscle fibers. Additionally, the tugging that picking up heavy weights provides on your bones will keep them strong. Body weight exercises are a great way to get started, but continuing to increase the amount of weight you can lift is the key to getting all the lasting longevity benefits of having lean muscle.
Are you ready to get strong so you can have all the benefits of having lean muscle as you get older? It is never too late! Here’s how to get started.
Find a qualified strength training professional who understands a woman’s body and can help design a program that meets your goals.
It’s not hard to find a personal trainer, but it is hard to find the right one who understands a woman’s body in midlife. The good news is that there ARE some out there, so keep looking. Many more qualified professionals have online programs now, so you can shop around and find the one that feels like a good fit.
If you are new to weight training, make sure you look for someone who
understands the importance of starting slow
emphasizes proper form to prevent injury
understands how to make modifications to help you strength train even with a problem joint or injury.
A good strength training professional will also push you to increase intensity by lifting heavier weight as you get stronger. You are a LOT stronger than you think you are and the right trainer will help you discover that.
Working out in menopause means working smarter, not harder!
If you think you have to ‘killin it’ at the gym for hours everyday to see results, you will need to rethink your ideas and any long-held beliefs around rest and recovery.
Without the support of estrogen, rest and recovery have a much more important role in making strength gains. As a matter of fact, without adequate rest, we are more prone to injury and even weight gain with too much intense exercise (of any kind) after menopause. Gone are the days when we just ‘push through’ on little sleep or ignore days off thinking that the more you do the better your results. Quite the opposite is true in menopause. In most cases less is more as long as the workouts you are doing are high quality.18
My favorite online midlife exercise physiologist is Debra Atkinson. You can read more specific information about the best way to exercise after menopause in her blogs at FlippingFifty.com
Learn how you need to change your diet.
Maybe you have heard, “abs are made in the kitchen” or “you can’t out train a poor diet”. Nothing could be more true than when you weight train in menopause. You’ll likely never see the results you want unless you are also willing to change what you eat.
As much I hate to keep pointing the finger at estrogen, without the building benefits it brings, in menopause we are more dependent than ever on dietary protein to build and maintain our muscles. The bottom line if you are strength training after menopause, it is very likely you will need to make some lasting changes to your diet in order to maintain your lean muscle tissue.19, 20
One of the biggest changes you may need to consider is eating more protein in order to build and maintain your lean muscle. Dr. Gabrielle Lyon, who I mentioned before, also calls muscle “the organ of longevity” and says “ it is “the foundation of an individual’s metabolism.” I’ve gained a lot of insights about how much protein I need to be eating in order to maintain my lean muscle by following her work. You can read more specific information about the role of dietary protein as we age at Dr.GabrielleLyon.com
And finally, find some midlife and beyond women to inspire you!
Admittedly they are not easy to find. Step into many in-person gyms and you are much more likely to either find men, or women in their 20’s or 30’s. Find older women successfully picking up heavier weights and barbells? Forget it. But that’s changing and even if it’s not in your specific area, there are more and more online women to inspire us.
I know there are more, I just haven’t found them yet!
What are you waiting for? Will it be easy? It likely won’t be as hard as you think. And what’s the alternative? A slow steady decline to becoming weak and frail? Nope! Not for me since I can do something to help it.
And here’s the really good news, it doesn’t take as long as you might think. The American College of Sports Medicine recommends weight training for 20 to 30 minutes two or three days a week. Wow! No more hours and hours on the treadmill, AND you will be getting the healthy benefits you want to really make your midlife (and beyond) marvelous!
Resolutions? I am not even going to ask. I actually began my weight loss and health journey on a random Thursday in September, so I’m living proof that anytime is the right time to make the diet and lifestyle changes you want to make. New Year’s Resolutions have never worked for me so I don’t make them.
However, I do believe that the New Year is a great time to explore what’s not working and what you want to improve. What do you want 2021 to look and feel like? Do you believe it is possible? I think it’s much more helpful to see this as a New Year’s Evolution instead.
I’m a big believer that the biggest change most of us need to make is between our ears. Only when my thoughts changed could I begin to change my beliefs so I could then change my behavior. And consistent behavior change is what a healthier lifestyle is all about.
Thoughts become beliefs. Beliefs become behavior.
New Year resolutions most often skip right to the behaviors we want to change like eating better or exercising more. But when our thoughts don’t line up with the things we want to change, we aren’t setting ourselves up for success.
I recently had a coaching client lament that after so many years of failed attempts she didn’t even believe that she could lose the weight she wants to. Yet after some brainstorming about all she had learned from all those ‘failed’ attempts, she began to see how much she had learned over the course of her journey. She knows what worked and what didn’t. She’s learning how her body is different now that she’s in midlife and is working to put together HER plan – one that works for her, based on where she is now. It’s an evolution not an end.
Are you resolving to make a change in 2021 or evolving by learning and growing? Instead of resolutions, let’s create better health through evolutions in what we understand and believe.
In order to help resolve to evolve, I made a fun New Year’s Evolutions Planner and Infographic just for you! The link is below so you can download it now and get your 2021 off to a great start.
And in case you’re new here, my monthly e-newsletters, is all about sharing what I’m doing to stay healthy as well as passing along resources I come across that are helpful for midlife women. Grab a spot on my newsletter list by subscribing here on my website.
As always, if you have questions feel free to send me an email at rhonda@makingmidlifemarvelous.com. It will go to my private inbox and I read and answer every email . I’m here to help!
So you want to lose weight and are determined to eat right but then something happens without warning. One cookie becomes two, two become four and before you know it, you have eaten them all! Why after days of eating well and exercising can a simple cookie have such power?
Emotional eating is the likely cause. Emotional or stress eating is real and its pattern of sabotage can destroy a whole day of good intentions in a matter of minutes. If left unchallenged, emotional eating, and the feels that support it, will win every time. Getting to the root of your emotions and breaking free from old habits is necessary if you really want to lose weight.
Emotional eating is loosely defined as a strong urge to eat when you are not hungry.
It is difficult to stop and you feel out of control. Creamy, crunchy, salty or sweet, “comfort food” makes you feel better. Late afternoons, when the kids have gone to bed or just a midnight snack, emotional eating has many different “faces” but the results are the same….eating an unreasonable amount of something that is not in your best interest.
Feelings of guilt and condemnation follow and so it goes as you vow to begin again tomorrow.
Yet, emotional eating is an intense cycle. When it begins, your food-of-choice does provide some degree of comfort by releasing dopamine – a “feel good” hormone – in your brain. Feeling bad? Eat something. Release some dopamine, feel some relief…
However, since the stress that started it all has likely not gone away, the relief you feel from the food is short lived, so the cycle begins again. Add some good ol’ fashioned guilt and an extra mean word or two to yourself, and you quickly compound the negative feels that started the cycle to begin with.
Emotional eating can also happen with more “positive” intentions. Using food to reward yourself is just as harmful. The “I deserve it” rationale still brings with it the same dopamine cycle that takes any real feelings of accomplishment off the table and refocuses your attention on food. The negative feelings that follow more than circumvent a “positive reward”.
You can do a lot to break an emotional eating cycle, and it doesn’t take long to see results. Not surprisingly, getting to the root of what you are feeling is the key to breaking this self-defeating cycle.
1 – Identify your triggers
Looks at any physical triggers that can cause your eating to get out of control.
Are you tired when you have a strong urge to eat?
Have you been or are you anticipating a stressful family event, meeting or social obligation?
What types of foods create that “I’ve got to eat it” feeling?
What time of day do you feel the most drawn to these foods?
This knowledge gives you the freedom to make different decisions based on your answers.
What can you cut out of your day to get more rest? Maybe it is just sleep that you need for additional emotional support?
Write down the things that are really causing you stress – family, work, finances. Sometimes “seeing” the stress on paper can give you just enough perspective that obvious solutions are apparent.
Clean out the trigger foods from your house and don’t bring them back! A simple idea, but it works!
Rearrange your schedule to reduce eating opportunities during vulnerable times.
Take a walk or call a friend. Most dangerous eating urges will go away in 10-15 minutes if you can recognize when they are about to occur.
2 – Think about what you are thinking about
In order to absolutely break emotional eating cycles, you also need to seriously begin to think about what you are thinking about.
Did you know most of us have one new thought every second? While it would be overwhelming to stop and consider each one, when it comes to emotional eating, if you do not take the time to evaluate the thoughts that are causing your urge to eat, you will be doomed to repeat the cycle subconsciously.
Is the stress and fatigue in your life causing you to have overly negative – almost catastrophic thoughts with every life event?
Does your busy schedule with normal life events cause thoughts like, “This was the worst day of my life!”?
Maybe you have even caught yourself often saying, “I’m so stressed out…”? While that may feel like the truth, your body only knows what you are telling it, so it will be “so stressed out” and leave you longing for comfort.
Try instead to reframe your negative thinking. While a busy schedule is stressful, begin saying things like, “I’m so thankful for getting so much done today and happy that I was able to get out and enjoy the day.” Even a small amount of gratitude can melt away your negative stream of unconscious thoughts from which the “I need to eat!” cycle begins.
3 – Make a plan!
Finally, once you have done the investigative work into your triggers and your thoughts, make a plan! Here are some ideas to get you started:
Build some space into your day to simply BREATH! It is amazing what 3 or 4 deep breathes can do to defuse the urgent need to eat. Breathing gives you space between your thought to eat and the action of eating that follows.
Use the space you create, no matter how brief, to give yourself an opportunity to turn a negative thought into something more positive. Be thankful for something! There are thousands of people who would trade places with you.
Be honest with what is really bothering you? Write it down or seek help if you need extra support. Keeping it veiled behind a bag of chips will only keep you stuck in the emotional eating cycle.
Determine to think something new on purpose. Instead of “I’m so stressed out” choose to say “Everything is going to be okay” or “I am safe” or “This too shall pass”. Remember, your brain believes what you tell it! You will be amazed at how much more calm you will feel if you think a new affirmation on purpose even if you don’t believe it at first.
Take a walk, get out of the house, do something physical – even if it is on a treadmill! Exercise produces endorphins which produce positive feelings in your brain! Trade these natural hormones for the chocolate-induced ones and you will get an extra boost towards your weight loss goals, some extra exercise AND not eating for comfort.
When you can anticipate the causes of your emotional eating, you can choose differently.
While emotional eating is real, you do not have to be its victim.
You are worth the time it takes to figure out your triggers and any old thought patterns that cause you to binge. While an emotional “pig out” session may still occur, their frequency will decrease with time and some effort.
If you are willing to learn something about yourself along the way, you will be able to take back your power from that cookie!
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Marvelous! See you soon!
About me
Too often midlife is referred to as a “crisis” and an inevitable time of decline. I want to help you shift that thinking! Midlife can be marvelous but it often requires us to take care of ourselves differently. In order to do that, we need the information and resources that we can understand and trust. I hope Making Midlife Marvelous will be that for you!
Here I will share my story, what I am doing to stay healthy and feeling good, as well as the resources I follow for ideas and information specifically for midlife women.
Making Midlife Marvelous is all about providing authentic, reliable, and trustworthy healthy lifestyle and wellness information specifically for midlife women! I want to empower women to advocate for their own health through common sense lifestyle changes, reasonable and easy to understand health information, and mindset shifts that motivate change.
Having been through my own frustrations about midlife weight gain – only to be given the diagnosis of “being that certain age”, I want to change that idea for us! Let’s shift the narrative about midlife women! XO Rhonda
