2 Simple Ways to Eat Well

2 Simple Ways to Eat Well

What does a simple, healthy diet look like?  You don’t have to look far these days to find someone telling you what, when, and how to eat in order to stay healthy.  

The problem with so much information is that it is very hard to know what is right for you!  Before you know it, you’re trudging through one diet plan after another chasing results and eating has become a very complicated, almost dreaded event.  

Then when things get too confusing, most of us are likely to throw in the towel and eat whatever and whenever we want….until the inevitable consequences of ‘free style’ eating puts us right back into the place of searching for the next right way to eat.  And the cycle continues…..

At their core, scripted diets almost always involve black and white rules around food.  So, unless you’ve done the foundational work around your emotional and psychological history with food, a ‘diet plan’ more often than not compounds unhealthy ideas with food.  

While scrolling through social media, it can be easy to get caught up in how this plan or an eating style that worked for someone else, try it but when it doesn’t work think it is your fault.  And the cycle continues…. 

Let’s simplify healthy eating so that you have a strong foundation on which to build a diet plan that is right for you.  Then if you decide to tweak the details, you will always have a reliable basis from which to build.

  1. Simply Eat Real Food

Food is not only fuel for our bodies it is information to every cell.  Therefore, eating real food is extremely important!  

The parts of our cells that convert the food we eat to the energy we need don’t really know what to do with the preservatives and food additives that are in packaged foods.  And yet, they are searching for the vitamins and minerals they need to perform every cellular function that we need to survive.  

To ensure that the food you eat is real, focus on eating foods without labels.  Fresh vegetables and fruits, locally raised meat and eggs are always best.  

But when you do choose to eat something from a package, read the label.  A short, simple ingredient list with words you can pronounce is the place to start. Quality matters in a healthy diet, so knowing what you are eating is a must.  

  1. Simply Stay Curious 

…about your thoughts and feelings surrounding food and how you think you should eat.  

If you are or have been a perpetual dieter, then chances are you have not made many connections to what you think and how those thoughts influence what you eat.  Many of us eat out of boredom or as a way to relieve stress.  Then before we know it, the guilt sets in.  

On the other hand, many women in particular, are always on the hunt for the ‘perfect’ diet often feeling obsessed with the search.  Instead of looking within, they have come to believe the idea that simplicity with food involves someone else telling them what to eat.  All of this takes us further and further from our own food connections.  

Instead of beating yourself up for eating in a way that doesn’t support your health, or looking for someone else to tell you want to eat, try simply reflecting on what is going on inside when you feel off balance with your food.  

If you find yourself feeling shame and remorse around eating, it is a very good sign that something else is trying to get your attention.  Figuring that out can be the key to finding freedom and enjoyment with food while also supporting your health. 

If your idea of simplicity with food involves drive thrus and take out, another lifestyle issue is likely needing your attention.  By putting convenience above your health, you could be continuing to squash unfelt feelings or unmet needs.  An honest look at those things is not always easy, but is more likely than not the truth of what is simply hiding behind the food.  

Simply put, there is NO one-size fits all plan when it comes to a healthy way to eat.  However, keeping things simple by eating real foods and getting connected with your thoughts around food, you can build a healthy eating routine that makes you feel great while also helping you reach your goals.  


Health coaching is a great way to unpack old thoughts and ideas about food and other lifestyle factors that may be keeping you from reaching your goals.  If you’d like to find out more contact Rhonda@makingmidlifemarvelous.com

5 Reasons Health Shaming Is a (Good) Thing.

5 Reasons Health Shaming Is a (Good) Thing.

Health shaming.  Have you heard of it?  When someone chooses to make healthy choices, could they actually feel ashamed, belittled or even embarrassed?  It may be hard to fathom that doing something “good” could cause someone to feel “bad”, but this social-psychological phenomenon is worth thinking about.  By knowing about, you will find more power in the conviction and motivation about your healthy lifestyle choices.    

In a 2013 blog, bestselling author and research professor at the University of Houston , Dr. Brene Brown defines shame as  “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” So when you order a grilled chicken salad without cheese or croutons, dressing on the side and someone else at the table says, “How can you eat like that?  You are making us all look bad”.  If your face turns red and you feel like you need to apologize to the waiter, you have been shamed for making a healthy choice.  Even if you did not know the term ‘health shaming’ perhaps now you see that you have experienced it. 

And not surprisingly, pain and feelings of unworthiness can sometimes lead to the inability to control unwanted behavior.  Could this be why the ice cream in the freezer starts calling your name later that night?  why your resolve and determination waver after family get-togethers?  why the birthday cake, Christmas cookies and Cadbury eggs seem to have such a powerful hold after weeks or even months of staying on track?  

Even if you didn’t know it by this trending phrase, if you are serious about your health, chances are you have experienced health shaming to one degree or another.  Whether your focus is on making healthy choices, lifestyle changes, or are generally trying to pay more attention to your health with the goal to simply to feel better, you may come against some challengers.  Instead of trying to debate your critics, let’s shift any health shaming experience into an opportunity to excel.  By turning what could be a negative experience into an inside growth opportunity, you can expand your convictions and propel yourself towards your goals. 

  1. You get to choose your feelings about the comments of others.  Yes, it is frustrating when you are making healthy choices and the people in your life – even sometimes the people that you love – make sarcastic or even negative comments about your choices.  Take a minute to ask yourself how important the person making the comments is to you. 
    • It can be sad when taking care of yourself with healthy foods and regular exercise is not the norm among the people in your life.  It can feel lonely to be ‘out there’ making choices that are different.  But take heart!  Your actions are sending a powerful message to those around you.  Their sarcasm and critical comments are likely a psychological defense that is easier to employ than looking at their own unhealthy habits.  The choices you make will add up over time giving you and a healthy glow and vibrant energy that you didn’t have before.  Then the need to comment about your choices will fade.  And if not…
  1. It may be time to re-evaluate some of your relationships.  Very often people show you who they are through their words.  Let your level of involvement determine the energy you are willing to put into confronting the agitator.  Is it time to have a candid conversation with your mom.  Gently explaining that you are not rejecting her if you choose not to have a piece of the pie she made can go a long way to setting yourself up for success at family gatherings.  If the relationship is more distant – say with a friend or a co-worker with whom you have joined for lunch a couple times – politely declining subsequent lunch invitations is reasonable under the guise of self-protection.  You can use undesirable lunch invitations as incentives to pack a healthy lunch.  “Thank you but I brought my lunch today” is an authentic reason that keeps you on track and at a safe distance from someone else’s insecurities.  
  2. Consider how long you have been in the health and fitness game.  The comments of others have different power depending on how long you have been making serious changes.  The longer you have been making healthy choices, the higher your level of confidence.   When you first start eating healthy foods and working out regularly,  the contrast will catch people’s attention. It is much easier to doubt your ability to change, and therefore you are likely to feel vulnerable to the opinion of others.  Hang in there.  Hearing terms like “health food nut” or “fitness phanatic” get easier the longer you are at it.  People in your world will grow accustomed to the way you order at a restaurant or the type of foods you bring in your lunch, so the novelty of a ‘funny’ comment will wear off.  If not, the longer you stick to your convictions the more confidence you will have to either ignore or retort with something astute like, “I feel great!  Thank you for noticing my healthy routine.”
  3. Stay aware of your feelings, and really look at why someone else is shaming you about your healthy choices.  Instead of internalizing those feelings, use the comment of others to step back and get a broader perspective about why you are choosing health.  Why are you eating differently than they are and moving more?  If your goal is to please others and you are bothered by the suggestion that you are causing waves, then maybe it is a good time to reassess.  Any life decision based on a need for acceptance and inclusion will be your Achilles Heel to self-sabotage.  
    • It is uncomfortable to step away from the crowd, but discovering your own internal motivation for choosing to make your health a priority is an opportunity to grow.  You get to decide what lines up with our values and supports your life.  The changes you are making honor yourself, and you are well within your rights to commit to your health.  Doing so allows you to thrive! 
    • What if the shift in your own health decisions starts to shift family traditions away from food and toward enjoying the time and love of your family?  What if healthy recipes bring delicious, new traditions that not only create memories but also help create health?  Instead of letting someone else shame you, choose to feel empowered.  Lead by example.  Let those who want to learn more and make changes in their own health inspire and motivate you to keep going.  
  1. Find your tribe!  If making healthy lifestyle choices is leaving you vulnerable to the comments of others, surround yourself with a new health tribe.  By building new relationships with like-minded people you are less likely to feel vulnerable and alone.  People who have similar health goals will be there to help you with the rogue comments of a few.  Even if your health tribe isn’t in person, find health inspiring groups online and follow health experts that resonate with you on social media.  Do you listen to Podcasts?  Search for a few with health and wellness related topics.  Listen and learn.  You will be surprised about how filling your mind with information related to your goals gives you a healthy swag all day long.  As you learn more about health-related topics, you will build your health-focused confidence.  

At its essence, health shaming is bullying.  Unfortunately, when you step out and do something different than some of those around you, it can make you a target.  It is frustrating and sad but ultimately empowering if you choose for it to be.  

By giving the behavior of health shaming a name, you get to decide.  Are you going to let the comments of others have the power to dissuade you from your goals?  Or are you going to challenge those comments with awareness and let them bring clarity to your healthy lifestyle journey?

The Opportunity of a Crisis

The Opportunity of a Crisis

Fear is a huge blackhole for me.  I have to be careful or it will suck me in quickly.  The fear around the current pandemic is real and having never experienced this type of world-wide health emergency my anxiety is just beneath the surface.  Add to this my aging parents being in the high risk category and my daughter-in-law on the frontlines as an ER nurse, the nervousness I immediately feel watching the news my susceptibility to panic is palpable! 

And then The Universe whispered to me yesterday….

A crisis is danger meeting opportunity.

I am constantly writing down inspirational quotes – things I hear that resonate with me that I want to remember.

While doing some cleaning yesterday, I uncovered this quote and it seems very appropriate for these times.  It immediately lightened my heart.  

The danger of the present coronavirus is real.  Intentionally looking for opportunity may just be the ticket through these extraordinary times.  What opportunities can we discover?

  1. The first opportunity I wish was being talked about more is the opportunity to support our immune systems – now and everyday.  Like most health promoting ideas, you have to look for these underpinnings but they are there.  Here are the things that I am doing:
  • I am prioritizing my nutrition through eating whole, real, organic food.  I am making my diet as colorful as I can with fresh fruits and vegetables every time I eat.

Remember, when it comes to supporting the immune system through your diet it is also very important to reduce inflammatory foods as well.  Sugar, gluten, dairy, refined oils, and alcohol add stress to our digestive systems oftentimes creating their own immune response.  Bogging down the immune system with these foods is not helpful any time but especially now.  

  • I am prioritizing my sleep aiming for 8 consecutive hours of quality sleep every night.  Sleep is the time when our brains “take out the trash” and our bodies find healing and restoration.  

Remember, screen time can mess with melatonin production which impacts your circadian rhyme.  Having a relaxing evening routine that does not include electronics is best to help set you up for a good night’s sleep.

  • I am prioritizing my movement.  In addition to my usual workouts, I am also upping my slow and deliberate exercise like stretching, yoga, and walking.  When the weather is cooperative,  I plan to walk outside as much as possible for the added benefits of fresh air and sunshine.

While still providing health benefits, this type of movement can also calm your nervous system by not increasing the stress on the body that vigorous exercise can promote.   

Speaking of stress….

  • I am prioritizing my stress management.  This is a tough one for me not just in the current situation but in general.  I never ‘feel’ stressed in the way I imagine stress to look like – a crazed, caffeinated, panicey, erratic mood.  Yet watch the news long enough and my thoughts begin to race to the worst of the worst, and I begin to mentally strategize and plan.  My brain becomes a real domesday machine!  

I have come to know these racing thoughts as my stress telltale – that blackhole of fear!  I know my body is listening to these thoughts and readying for a fight that is not inline with my current situation.  A constant supply of cortisol not only steals benefit from the other immune supporting measures I’m taking, it also continues to weaken my immune system by keeping it distracted from the potential of real threats. 

  1. Another opportunity from this urgent situation is to practice and keep stress reduction as an important part of my marvelous midlife!  Remember, in midlife, our adrenal glands are more important than ever at keeping all our hormones balanced.  If they are constantly being used to produce stress hormones, those balancing benefits fall away.  Especially now I am:
  • Being meticulously mindful about what I watch and listen to.  Not only am I minimizing how much I watch the news and am on social media, I am intentionally inputting funny and uplifting ideas and information.  I want to be particularly diligent with these affronts later in the day in order to fill my mind with hope and peace not spark my tinderbox of fear near bedtime.   
  • Adding layers of positive meditation music to my usual quiet morning coffee time.  This particular YouTube music seems to have a distinct rhythm that I find very soothing.  I can easily sync my breathing with it which feels very calming.  YouTube is full of free meditation background music like this and has been very helpful to me as part of a relaxing nighttime routine as well.  
  1. It appears that the easiest and best way to not only avoid the current coronavirus but also to stop its spread is to stay at home.  The opportunities of staying at home are plentiful but often require a bit of a mindset shift.  Often tagged as a loss of freedom and inconvenient, the excuse to stay home can have many benefits.  I am looking at this sequestering as an opportunity to:
  • Take advantage of my husband being required to work from home as an incentive to cook and make healthy meal options for us both.  So often through the week dinner is the only meal we eat together.  Knowing that he will be home to eat throughout the day helps motivate me to create more healthy choices for us both.  
  • Create a puzzle and game table area.  While we both will be productively on our computers a lot, it is important to give our eyes and minds a break.  We occasionally play games like scrabble to mix up our evenings and weekends, but now is a great opportunity to make a space that will hopefully be used more often.  
  • As I mentioned above, I am going to prioritize additional gentle movement.  One advantage to being at home more is having more time to walk.  Walking is one of those things I don’t make the time to include as much as I know I should.  With a treadmill and the promise of some springlike weather (fingers crossed) the opportunity for this type of mindful movement is abundant.
  • Cleaning and decluttering my house.  Cleaning and organizing help me feel a sense of control, while also making a space that feels more welcoming to stay in.  I don’t normally take enough time to do these things, but I sure feel better when they are done. Without the distractions of leaving, I am focusing on making my home feel more inviting.  Plus because I was cleaning I found the quote above that started my mental shift and this email note!  Who knows what other nuggets may surface.  

And speaking of mental shifts…

  1. One last opportunity of this urgent time is a shift towards gratitude.  Let’s recognize not only the words we are hearing, but also the language we are using and see if we can be ever watchful for not only the things we have to be grateful for, but also the goodness that will come from this time.  

Words have power and immediately affect how we and others feel as well as react.  These next few weeks will undoubtedly alter our routines, but what if that is a good thing?  Instead of looking at all that has been cancelled, postponed or otherwise re-arranged, why not look for the value such an unexpected ‘timeout’ might bring?

Remember the human mind has a natural bend toward the negative.  By recalling the worst and being quick to prepare for it, this bias has kept us safe in the past.  While I’m not suggesting a Polly Anna, rose-colored glasses, lalala, fingers in my ears, everything is wonderful approach, altering our points of view will not only make a scary situation more tolerable, it will move the needle of our health and wellness towards vibrance and resiliency.

Fear is a powerful motivator.  Yet out of balance it has the capacity to stagnate and even cripple.  Our marvelousness has more to do with how we are able to wisely choose a mindset of growth….learning, and then choosing differently than we might have in the past.  

Here are a few articles if you want to learn more.

How Stress Affects the Immune System Using mind-body therapies to keep stress from making us sick.

What Happens When Your Immune System Gets Stressed Out? How stress impacts your immunity – and how to chill out 

Nighttime Computer Users May Lose Sleep

New Research On How Yoga Boosts Your Immune System

Walking Improves Immune System Health